Three and a half months to go. Somewhere around 42 days. I love "42."
Some updates. By a lucky coincidence, just as we were dismantling the wall and getting ready to put the door in, Lulu decided a door would be a good idea. Whew! That worked out. My Dad really worked his butt off on that project, and did such a nice job. Thanks Dad! It is so nice to be able to go out the back door.
Emma bought herself a large trampoline. So with the deck, the door, the bbq on the deck, and Emma's trampoline, we're all set for summer!
Also, we got a new dog. Well, first, we had to put our old dog down. Woodrow. He was such a huge part of my life. I'll write a separate post all about him when I can. That is, when I don't mind bawling.
So, we got Jack. Emma picked him out. He's an awesome dog who needs A LOT of training.
Back to the subject of work. Yesterday, Monday, was pretty typical in that I came home and looked for other jobs. I still haven't quite figured out what frustrates me so much about my job. I mean, it's easy money, really. Not quite enough money, but easy. I can't stand anybody I work with (Except Lulu -- she's nutty, but she's like family) so that could be it. But if so, why can't I just not think about them? I rarely have to work directly with any of them. And the things that irritate me really aren't important at all.
It's all a mind game, I guess. I feel like co-workers are crapping in my territory, but it's not really my territory. And when or if it ever is, I can get rid of anyone who bothers me. Right now it really doesn't matter if everyone else does stuff the stupid way, as long as I only have to work 3 days a week.
Since it's Tuesday Morning, things are looking up. There are a number of things that will likely irritate me, but at the end of the day my work week will almost be over.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
A Door!
Yes, yes... I know I haven't written anything in a month. I didn't have anything exciting to say. But now I'm getting a door - a real back door! This could be my motivation to stay here. That might sound strange to anyone who hasn't been to my house.
It does seem odd to me that I rarely go into my back yard just because I don't have a back door. But it's true. I guess that extra 25 or so steps is just too much. It could be a nice back yard, and will probably turn into one now that I will be able to get there.
It's one of those things I wish I would have done right away. I knew I wanted a back door. I just didn't know what all I could get away with. Also, at first Lulu was okay with a door, so I was waiting for her to pay for it. Then all of a sudden she didn't like the idea. So I have to sneak it in, and pretend that I did it when she was into it. That might seem wrong, but even if I don't stay here forever, I'm sure the next person will appreciate it.
You might think, "but won't she notice?" No. She will not notice. She hasn't been here in the two years I've lived here. She barely goes out of her house. She hardly even goes out of her room in her own house. So, I am no longer worried about that.
This has given me a sense of contentment also. I can do just about anything around here without having to worry about it. Before, I was afraid to change things around. As long as it's always improving, it's okay. Lulu's friends will only say, "Hey, it's looking nice around here." And Lulu will be happy. And I will be happy.
It's not that I want to be sneaky, it's just that I don't like to have someone looking over my shoulder, and I don't like to ask for permission for everything I do, and I don't wish to explain my every action. I have tried since I moved here to make the property look better. It's a big property and has taken a lot of time just to get it somewhat maintainable. My back yard is the worst of it, because, you know, there's no way to get to it. <grin>
I wish I would always take before and after pictures. When I moved here, everything was a disaster. The house was full of rot, animal feces and urine (mouse, cat, dog), there were four bins of rotting garbage in the driveway (A bin being one of those big 4'x4' fruit bins) and Lulu's house - oh my - I only have the picture in my head, and it's bad.
Everything is not perfect now, but it's better. Probably only me and my Dad have memories of the "before."
So I'll try to get pictures taken soon. Hoping they'll be the "before it got really pretty around here" photos.
It does seem odd to me that I rarely go into my back yard just because I don't have a back door. But it's true. I guess that extra 25 or so steps is just too much. It could be a nice back yard, and will probably turn into one now that I will be able to get there.
It's one of those things I wish I would have done right away. I knew I wanted a back door. I just didn't know what all I could get away with. Also, at first Lulu was okay with a door, so I was waiting for her to pay for it. Then all of a sudden she didn't like the idea. So I have to sneak it in, and pretend that I did it when she was into it. That might seem wrong, but even if I don't stay here forever, I'm sure the next person will appreciate it.
You might think, "but won't she notice?" No. She will not notice. She hasn't been here in the two years I've lived here. She barely goes out of her house. She hardly even goes out of her room in her own house. So, I am no longer worried about that.
This has given me a sense of contentment also. I can do just about anything around here without having to worry about it. Before, I was afraid to change things around. As long as it's always improving, it's okay. Lulu's friends will only say, "Hey, it's looking nice around here." And Lulu will be happy. And I will be happy.
It's not that I want to be sneaky, it's just that I don't like to have someone looking over my shoulder, and I don't like to ask for permission for everything I do, and I don't wish to explain my every action. I have tried since I moved here to make the property look better. It's a big property and has taken a lot of time just to get it somewhat maintainable. My back yard is the worst of it, because, you know, there's no way to get to it. <grin>
I wish I would always take before and after pictures. When I moved here, everything was a disaster. The house was full of rot, animal feces and urine (mouse, cat, dog), there were four bins of rotting garbage in the driveway (A bin being one of those big 4'x4' fruit bins) and Lulu's house - oh my - I only have the picture in my head, and it's bad.
Everything is not perfect now, but it's better. Probably only me and my Dad have memories of the "before."
So I'll try to get pictures taken soon. Hoping they'll be the "before it got really pretty around here" photos.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Days off
Probably need to change the name. 175days. 24weeks24things? It doesn't matter. It only matters that I am more aware that I could leave in sixish months, and that there are things I'd like to get done before that.
It's already become more 'I could leave in 6 months' than 'I will leave in 6 months.' I guess that's all I needed, a time when I could opt out.
Last night Emma and I finally made a fire in the fire pit I built last summer. What fun! She is very cautious, so kept almost putting the fire out. It was nice to hang out in the back yard, and made me feel somewhat motivated to keep working on it. What a mess it is with its overgrowth and sticker bushes. Oak trees growing too close to the house. Hate to take those out, but they've got to go. I love Oaks.
I'll have to figure out what to do about the back door. There isn't one. It's weird that without a back door, there is no motivation to go in the back yard. Lulu had approved one being put in, but then she changed her mind. I regret bringing it up with her again. I doubt she'd know if I put one in, the trick is not getting caught without a building permit. Oh, and now I have to pay for the door myself. So see, this is where I get confused - If I'm going to leave it's not worth the effort or expense. But if I put one in, life would be more pleasant and it would be more worth it to stay.
I took out a couple of old lilac trees. I really dislike cutting down trees, but I also really want to put a gate in the back corner of the yard. Plus, they are all old and falling and ratty looking. Looks better already. It's difficult to get stuff done because Emma doesn't like it out there. But if I could get some work done out there, and had a back door, and got her fort built, I think she'd really like being in the back yard.
It's already become more 'I could leave in 6 months' than 'I will leave in 6 months.' I guess that's all I needed, a time when I could opt out.
Last night Emma and I finally made a fire in the fire pit I built last summer. What fun! She is very cautious, so kept almost putting the fire out. It was nice to hang out in the back yard, and made me feel somewhat motivated to keep working on it. What a mess it is with its overgrowth and sticker bushes. Oak trees growing too close to the house. Hate to take those out, but they've got to go. I love Oaks.
I'll have to figure out what to do about the back door. There isn't one. It's weird that without a back door, there is no motivation to go in the back yard. Lulu had approved one being put in, but then she changed her mind. I regret bringing it up with her again. I doubt she'd know if I put one in, the trick is not getting caught without a building permit. Oh, and now I have to pay for the door myself. So see, this is where I get confused - If I'm going to leave it's not worth the effort or expense. But if I put one in, life would be more pleasant and it would be more worth it to stay.
I took out a couple of old lilac trees. I really dislike cutting down trees, but I also really want to put a gate in the back corner of the yard. Plus, they are all old and falling and ratty looking. Looks better already. It's difficult to get stuff done because Emma doesn't like it out there. But if I could get some work done out there, and had a back door, and got her fort built, I think she'd really like being in the back yard.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
72 days left
I might have to change the name to 75days75excuses.
I did nothing extra. But, I think I haven't clearly defined what extra is. Do I mean extra stuff to improve the place for my boss, for me, or just in general? All three, I suppose. But when I started this, I was thinking of mainly for my boss. The funny thing about that is, though, she wouldn't even notice. She rarely goes out of her house. Maybe 3 or 4 times a year. Seriously, that's it. She doesn't really have an idea what's going on around here.
Tonight I was outside cleaning off my front porch and looking around and dreaming of how I would like everything to look. I realized that maybe, just maybe, if I made everything how I wanted it to be, it would be worth it to stay. Maybe the underlying frustration is that there is so much I want to do, but I'm always questioning if it's worth it because I don't know if I'm staying or going. So I take my frustration out on my job, because it's all mixed up that way.
It's difficult. I know I am welcome to stay as long as I want, or as long as my boss is alive. And I know I can't live on "what ifs," but it's hard not to think about, "What if I pour my heart into this place and then I just have to walk away?"
That would suck. But in the meantime, I'd have a lovely place to live. And since I cannot predict the future, or how long I'll be here, maybe I should work on making it a lovely place. If I have to go, then it will be a lovely place for someone else.
I did do a couple extra things after all. I put grass hay down between some of the sheds to prevent future weed growth. My boss ( I think I will call her LuLu from now on) would hate that, but I think it will work out really well. I'm hoping it will keep the weeds down, and since it's grass hay, maybe actual grass will grow there.
Also, I took LuLu's Mama Kitty in to be euthanized. I don't know if that counts for anything, but it was hard to do. I liked Mama Kitty. Plus, doing that always reminds me of all the pets I've lost and then I cry a lot.
I did nothing extra. But, I think I haven't clearly defined what extra is. Do I mean extra stuff to improve the place for my boss, for me, or just in general? All three, I suppose. But when I started this, I was thinking of mainly for my boss. The funny thing about that is, though, she wouldn't even notice. She rarely goes out of her house. Maybe 3 or 4 times a year. Seriously, that's it. She doesn't really have an idea what's going on around here.
Tonight I was outside cleaning off my front porch and looking around and dreaming of how I would like everything to look. I realized that maybe, just maybe, if I made everything how I wanted it to be, it would be worth it to stay. Maybe the underlying frustration is that there is so much I want to do, but I'm always questioning if it's worth it because I don't know if I'm staying or going. So I take my frustration out on my job, because it's all mixed up that way.
It's difficult. I know I am welcome to stay as long as I want, or as long as my boss is alive. And I know I can't live on "what ifs," but it's hard not to think about, "What if I pour my heart into this place and then I just have to walk away?"
That would suck. But in the meantime, I'd have a lovely place to live. And since I cannot predict the future, or how long I'll be here, maybe I should work on making it a lovely place. If I have to go, then it will be a lovely place for someone else.
I did do a couple extra things after all. I put grass hay down between some of the sheds to prevent future weed growth. My boss ( I think I will call her LuLu from now on) would hate that, but I think it will work out really well. I'm hoping it will keep the weeds down, and since it's grass hay, maybe actual grass will grow there.
Also, I took LuLu's Mama Kitty in to be euthanized. I don't know if that counts for anything, but it was hard to do. I liked Mama Kitty. Plus, doing that always reminds me of all the pets I've lost and then I cry a lot.
Monday, August 22, 2011
First Day, continued
My first thing was.....I was nice. It's not a lot, but it's something.
What got me started on this whole idea was that last week, my boss answered me (In an email exchange) in a very sarcastic and mean way. This is fairly common, and always hits a nerve with me. Usually, all weekend long, I fume and fuss and think up snappy replies to anything she might say when I return to work. Then I go to work on Monday full of venom just waiting for her to say something. She is usually quite nice, overly nice, and won't play this game. She knows she's pissed me off and she treads lightly and sweetly. I have a lot of trouble being bitchy when people are nice to me, so my anger wears off quickly.
Well, this time, I was prepared with snappy and bitchy replies, but I did not attempt to play. If she had been bitchy, I would have. But it went off as usual, and because I wasn't determined to fight, I had a better day.
I think because I now have "75 days" in the back of my mind, I don't have to prove anything. I am not thinking, "I will not be treated this way, blah blah blah." Instead, I'm thinking that I can put up with crap for 75 days. 74 now.
I'm hoping tomorrow I can get something extra done. It's lawn mowing day, so that might be it. I suspect I'll get more done as the deadline gets closer, I've always been that kind of person. Maybe tomorrow I'll make a list of things that need done. That'll help.
What got me started on this whole idea was that last week, my boss answered me (In an email exchange) in a very sarcastic and mean way. This is fairly common, and always hits a nerve with me. Usually, all weekend long, I fume and fuss and think up snappy replies to anything she might say when I return to work. Then I go to work on Monday full of venom just waiting for her to say something. She is usually quite nice, overly nice, and won't play this game. She knows she's pissed me off and she treads lightly and sweetly. I have a lot of trouble being bitchy when people are nice to me, so my anger wears off quickly.
Well, this time, I was prepared with snappy and bitchy replies, but I did not attempt to play. If she had been bitchy, I would have. But it went off as usual, and because I wasn't determined to fight, I had a better day.
I think because I now have "75 days" in the back of my mind, I don't have to prove anything. I am not thinking, "I will not be treated this way, blah blah blah." Instead, I'm thinking that I can put up with crap for 75 days. 74 now.
I'm hoping tomorrow I can get something extra done. It's lawn mowing day, so that might be it. I suspect I'll get more done as the deadline gets closer, I've always been that kind of person. Maybe tomorrow I'll make a list of things that need done. That'll help.
First Day
I think this will be a short, experimental blog. Six months, probably.
I am considering leaving my job in about six months. I work three days a week, so 75 days of work left.
I am thinking of leaving because sometimes my boss makes me so angry, I shake. But, I am not positive I am leaving because all other aspects of the job are good, and despite her childishness, I do like my boss. She is also my landlord and occasionally a friend, so you see how it can get complicated.
I work at an animal rehab, and it is where I live, and it is also where my boss lives. The place has gotten to be quite a mess because of time, bad renters and lazy employees. I have been here two years and have made a lot of progress on cleaning it up, but there is still a ways to go.
I am hoping to take care of one thing each day that I work. That's what I'll be writing about here. Maybe this quest will be so fulfilling and work out so well for everyone, that I will decide to stay. And maybe, it will just make me feel good about myself when I do leave. I like to be missed.
I'll write more later about why I am in this constant "Should I stay or should I go?" thought process.
I don't know what thing I'm going to do at work today, but I will let you know when I get home.
I am considering leaving my job in about six months. I work three days a week, so 75 days of work left.
I am thinking of leaving because sometimes my boss makes me so angry, I shake. But, I am not positive I am leaving because all other aspects of the job are good, and despite her childishness, I do like my boss. She is also my landlord and occasionally a friend, so you see how it can get complicated.
I work at an animal rehab, and it is where I live, and it is also where my boss lives. The place has gotten to be quite a mess because of time, bad renters and lazy employees. I have been here two years and have made a lot of progress on cleaning it up, but there is still a ways to go.
I am hoping to take care of one thing each day that I work. That's what I'll be writing about here. Maybe this quest will be so fulfilling and work out so well for everyone, that I will decide to stay. And maybe, it will just make me feel good about myself when I do leave. I like to be missed.
I'll write more later about why I am in this constant "Should I stay or should I go?" thought process.
I don't know what thing I'm going to do at work today, but I will let you know when I get home.
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